Fashion - October 9, 2016

Eat My Shirt

There’s something about wearing a shirt that makes me feel a little bit sick. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’ll try and explain… I’m always seeing ridiculously stylish gals wearing baggy shirts and jeans and looking totally incred, so naturally, I try to emulate their greatness and well, kinda fail massively. I look like I’ve been decorating and not in the cool, sexy way the films have you believe. You know, when someone sultry like Mila Kunis has been painting with her on-screen boyfriend and she’s borrowed one of his oversized shirts. She’s got paint splodges in her perfectly tousled hair from where they decided to flick it at each other *original* and then, they roll around on a dust sheet for a while. Because nothing gets you going quite like craning your neck up a ladder all day does it girls?

Nope, I look nothing like that version. I look like someone who’s been decorating for a good 9 hours with her boyfriend, had several magnolia related arguments and now has a banging migraine and a roller stuck in her hair. In other words, I do not look remotely like Mila Kunis would in a shirt. Someone pass me the broken biscuits already so I can scoff until I can’t feel my enamel anymore.

To cut a long sob story short, I’ve been forced to get inventive when it comes to styling my shirts. Last year, we saw the back to front trend which I still absolutely love but this season, I’ve been trying to think outside the box. I mean that literally because I often feel very boxy in shirts. Just me?

I got this baggy shirt from the Wolf & Gypsy yard sale in Brighton a few months back. It’s actually a men’s shirt, but I didn’t notice that until I got home and tried it on (guys’ shirts have the buttons on the right hand side and the button holes on the left, so they’re a little more awkward to do up, hence why I’ve decided to cut the work load and undo most of mine. What. A. Hussy).

If you’re looking at the photos thinking I’ve lost a sleeve somewhere in the magnolia boyfriend battle, then you would be very right my friend, for the sleeve holds all the secrets for this state of undress. I’ve fastened a few buttons but left enough shirt to tie up into a knot with the *spare* sleeve. Allow me to break it down for ya…

Take one of the sleeves and wrap it underneath your arm and across your chest, tying it in a knot with the leftover material on the other side. And here’s the most important part: secure the naked side with body tape just underneath your side-boob. Plenty of body tape. PS if you’re like me and have no side-boob whatsoever, then the preferred location for said body tape is just ‘south of the armpit’.

Tape in check, I then threw it together with my vintage mom Lee jeans, also from Wolf & Gypsy, and last year’s block heeled sandals from Zara. Oh and let’s hear it for this beaut of a braid that stayed in for a record amount of time. I can’t say how long… because that would reveal how long I went without washing it and would almost definitely ruin the Mila Kunis dream.

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October 9, 2016

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