Fashion - November 3, 2016

Smelly Cat Suede & Other Drugs

IMO autumn sh*ts all over summer – and we’re immediately off to a passionate start, but it’s true. I just can’t seem to find my fashion funk in the summer, so when autumn comes at me with all these fine ass layers and textures it’s like my crappy pen pal from that holiday in Tenerife finally wrote back. I’m like, hell yes, this means I can claim that the pouch on top of my jeans is just a cluster of lumpy knitwear and definitely nothing to do with the platter of duck pancakes I put away last night. And I don’t have to pretend I’m totally ok with substituting Ben & Jerry’s with frozen yoghurt either. Because it doesn’t matter how many strawberries and chocolate drops you dress it up with, it does not taste the same. It’s thin and it’s watery and it sure doesn’t give me those cookie dough feels. So yeah, fro-yo you might sound cool in the summer but you’re lousy in bed. With or without Netflix.

So we have the autumnal context, we have the unnecessary ‘I love winter’ tangent, shall we talk about me making my 70s debut now? Oh go on then. I hope you’re sitting comfortably because I’m not. These jeans are so far up my crotch that I can’t tell my vagina from my butt. The whole lot’s throbbing and numb and not in a good way. Anyway, back to the outfit. Tonight Matthew, I’m gonna be… Farrah Fawcett – minus the super hot bod and that feathered shag barnet.

I never really plan my outfits *fellow bloggers it’s ok, it’s not contagious*, I just tend to get up and let my mood dictate what I want to wear. So I guess you could say on this particular day I was feeling fatigued. I was bored of wearing my high waisted Joni jeans day in day out, so I thought I would dial down the dirty denim and flounce around in flares for a change.

Also, let’s rewind for a second here, I forgot to mention that I did the unthinkable and started from the bottom up. First came the mules, then came the flares, then I added in the layering trend thing and topped it off with some smelly cat suede and now we’re here.

I call it my smelly cat jacket (‘cos what even is a Lareese post without a Friends reference in there?), but I’m not even sure how it’s earned this name. I think it just reminds me of something Phoebe would wear and my ‘Phoebe jacket’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. Ten bloody pound from a charity shop fellas. Amazing right? Even if it did come with a hairy dog biscuit in the pocket. Wait, maybe that’s why I started calling it smelly cat? Oh, who knows.

These oxblood mules are my new favourite thing and surprisingly comfortable. Even if they do rub the roof off your baby toe, they’re still easy to walk in and that’s always a Brucie Bonus. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll get away with wearing them mind you, but all the while we’re enjoying this mild autumn I will continue to push the boundaries of what is acceptable pedicure-less footwear. Hey cracked heels you still single? We all know from September onwards those things we call feet are firmly on the updateable scale, stowed away until further notice like Harry Potter in his cupboard of cobwebs under the stairs. No muggle shall ever speak of them again.

And, I’m not one to do things by halves so I thought I would embrace this seventies thing and layer on up while I’m at it. I’ve gone for my slouchy cream jumper with a lace cami over the top. Layering your every day staples with something a bit fancy like a slip dress or a bralette, is such an easy way to breathe new life into an outfit. A word of warning if you opt for the bralette option though: have your best fake laugh in the locker ready to go because people will find joy in telling you you’re wearing your bra the wrong way round. Like, all day. And you will have to take it, because you are the one wearing your bra the wrong way round. It’s fine, I wore my dressing gown to work once and someone wrote a poem about it, so a rebellious bra act is no biggie. In my defence it was the silk type, not the fleece type and could definitely pass for a kimono. I’ll probably show it to you one day, that’s if me and my smelly cat duck pancake lumps haven’t scared you off. Until next time… love you bye.

Photography by Olivia Foley


Jumper: Zara

Lace overlay top: H&M

Jeans: H&M (last year)

Shoes: Tophop (sale)

Bag: Zara

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November 3, 2016

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