Put the kettle on, climb into an elasticated pair of pants, scoff all six of Mr Kipling’s Frosty Fancies (even though you said you’d only have one) and prepare for a slouch fest because ’tis the season to sloth out and live like you’re a 15 tog, goose feather king size duvet for a few months. YASSS.
I think I’ve already spoken at length about my love of all things winter on the blog before now so I won’t burden you again like the huge hygge fan girl that I am, but boy am I glad it’s starting to get cold.
And we’ve finally decided that the ‘C’ word is an acceptable conversation filler in November and I’m not talking about Zoella’s advent calendar.
I’ve been playing Bublé in the car since July (that’s a lie, it was April) and no, I’m not too early, the rest of society is late mmmk.
The great thing about winter – other than the fact you can reward yourself with food at all times, because it’s dark, freezing and life is hard – is the clothes.
Ohhhh the clothes.
If you could see me now I have Monica Geller’s seven expression etched on my face. It might not be pretty but it’s a strong look.
I feel like of all the clothes that have your back, knitwear is your bezzie girl.
She craps all over the maxi dress and you can rest assured that if you happen to raise your hand to ask the nice waiter man with impeccably neat nail beds for some more glasses for the table, that you won’t poke his eyes out with your ethereal flowing armpit hair.
And where I come from, that’s always a plus.
I could have abs as chiselled as Prince Charming’s chin (the Shrek version, if you were wondering) under these jumpers or I could have a belly that, when pushed together either side, resembles a year-old pepper, crinkled and stuck to the back of the fridge.
There’s really no telling which one it is… until your bf thinks it’s funny to lift your giant knitwear up, wrap it over your head (robbing you of all your seeing powers), spin you around and leave you there until you find yourself a ‘safe’ corner and stub yourself on it.
Ya see, the thing about jumpers is they’re warm, they’re mysterious and they give me breathing space whenever I need it.
Basically, they’re the perfect man in jumper form.
Which I guess makes me poly-amorous because I’ve got three lovers on the go in this post alone, and several more hung by their arms in my red room, aka… just my ordinary PAX wardrobe. Well, that was quite the anti-climax, wasn’t it?
I’ve recently started up a bit of a new fling with pink, too. The colour not the singer – added that in for clarity even though you probably got there all on your own.
It’s not a colour I normally wear but right now, I’m swiping right all over it.
I love how easy it is to clash with other colours (enter cute af olive green bag) and it just so happens to do a great job at giving Morticia Addams over here a *slightly* warmer complexion – even if it is just an illusion.
Slogans on knitwear also get a swipe right from me and while we’re here so do dogs, Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Medley Biscuit & Fudge and baths so hot they turn you into a human Drumstick lolly, but I digress.
Whenever I need my outfit to double up as a calendar (that’s always. I will never not need that), then I’ll be sure to grab this Friday jumper by the scruff of the neck.
After all, there’s nothing quite like an awkward encounter with a stranger as they try to work out what your jumper says, while simultaneously trying to avoid looking at your tits but also, very much looking at your tits. It’s kind of impossible to do well.
It says Friday you filthy animal. FRIDAY.
And then there’s a statement sleeve. No ordinary sleeve will do, normal sleeves are for the weak.
I need a sleeve so extra it’ll slurp on my flat white and tuck into my condiments as soon as my back’s turned and I think I’ve found just the candidate right here with this fluted fella.
Though he tells me he’s more of a tea fan (eye roll) which, IRL could be a deal breaker, but since I’m just personifying knitwear here, I’ll let it slide.
And that, my old pen pals, just about rounds up my cravings this season. Have you got your eye on any armpit hair-friendly hunks at the moment? Love you bye.
PS – do make sure you have a quick game of, ‘zoom in on my leg hair’ before you go. It really is a great way to unwind.
This post was in collaboration with prettylittlething. All the knitwear love is my own.
Photography by Olivia Foley
Outfit details listed below:
Pink jumper: here
Friday jumper: here
White flare sleeve Jumper: here
Pinstripe blazer: here
Black sock boots: here
Orange sock boots: here
Olive bag: here
Black flared trousers: here
Aviator jacket: H&M (no longer available)
Sunglasses: ASOS (no longer available)
Bag: Zara (old)