I've Been Thinking - January 25, 2017

Why The Goldilocks Life Is So Much More Than ‘Just Right’

I love how slow snow is. It’s not in any rush, it takes its time to fill the air, find its way, suss out its surroundings and only then does it begin to settle on the ground – if it chooses to settle at all. Even with all the Christmas tributes and all the pressure to show up, deliver and make it a magical time of year, it still makes everyone wait until January to show its face. In fact the more I think about it, the more it’s like my best friend Chloe. She takes her time. Once she was three hours late for lunch, which technically makes her early for dinner but whatever. Her reason for such poor time keeping? She was finding her trousers. That’s an hour and a half per leg. This is the same girl who asked me if I thought my dog had a name for me – see, like snow, there’s just no telling where she’s heading with most the conversations we have. Then again, that’s why we’ve been best friends for all this time.

It’s also not clingy is it? It’s comfortable with separation, it doesn’t have to follow the other snowflakes even though they’re the same age. It doesn’t care which direction the others are going in because it’s having too much fun free falling. Roaming around, getting lost and getting laid (Ha, I couldn’t help myself). It loves getting distracted.

We’re always told we shouldn’t settle in life aren’t we? Don’t stay in a job you hate, don’t try to save a relationship and whatever you do with your life don’t coast through it. Because if you coast you’re a loser, you have no passion, you won’t make important decisions and then you’ll wonder why you struggle to sleep at night even though you sprayed lavender mist all over that sh*t. Well, like snow, I’m ok with coasting. I know, controversialllll. I think we should all coast a hell of a lot more actually.

Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve, of course, but if you are happy then don’t look beyond the safe-to-land spot either. We seem to be scared of this thing called being ‘comfortable’ which is a risky game, if you ask me. Since when did being comfortable become such a bad thing? Since when was it an open invitation for our pals to start ploughing us with cosmopolitans? Who am I kidding, we can’t afford those. I meant Co-op’s own prosecco. FYI it’s actually quite nice.

The minute you stop concentrating on the value of more, the sooner you can appreciate that your life was never any less in the first place.

Everyone wants more now: more money, more youth, more success, more orgasms, maybe it’s our generation. We’re told to regard our own happiness above anything else but also that the grass isn’t always greener. So which one is it then? No wonder we’re so fecccking confused. We don’t know when to tell our delusions of grandeur to pipe down and just go and play outside for a while. Ya see it’s not settling is it? It’s called being settled. Can’t we just stay here for a while and be comfortably full without sending out distress signals? Can we have permission to appreciate how good it feels not to push ourselves over the edge with that extra chicken goujon. Let’s just inhale what we have on the our plates at this very moment in time: the job that’s not a career, the house that’s not the forever home, the relationship that’s not rushing for marriage, the non-existent mortgage, the crow’s feet, the malfunctioning wardrobe that collapses like a slippery fish wallet out of hell every time you try to squeeze in that extra Zara sweater.

Whatever it is, settling is only ever a bad thing if you feel like there has been some kind of compromise on your part and you’re resentful because of that. But if you’re comfortable and landed on all fours in your safe spot then that’s when you’ll know that there’s nothing left to settle for – you stop chasing the idea of this superior other life because you start realising that yours was never second-rate. The minute you stop concentrating on the value of more, the sooner you can appreciate that your life was never any less in the first place. Coasting, settling, dwelling – whatever you call this state of being comfortable with your own life, don’t be afraid to just roll out your sleeping bag and set up camp there. Don’t cause an avalanche for the sake of it – ‘cos there’s really no shame in being happy with things just as they are. Be comfortable, be content and be courageous enough to know when to stop looking for more – the Goldilocks ‘just right’ life ain’t so bad. Love you bye.

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January 25, 2017

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