I like to think I’ve got this whole stable relationship thing down, that is, except the one I have with my wardrobe. That’s not so stable. In fact, it’s as erratic as my hair washing habits. There’s just no consistency. One minute I wanna be the girl with bed head hair wearing a leather jacket, sunnies and a choker, the next, I wanna be gallivanting around with a herd of sheep in a gingham dress like Little f*cking Bo Peep. But like the cool Toy Story version, at least, that’s the vision I have in my head anyway, ha, and that’s what really counts, right?
This unstable relationship isn’t getting any better with age. People say you find yourself in your late 20s. Well, I call BS on those people, ‘cos I’m still here with my Tamagotchi like, ‘impart your wisdom on me late 20s, tell me when I should just walk away from the slutty mermaid bikinis winking at me online and just settle for the one that looks like it would accommodate the most beach snacks instead’. A third degree wedgie and a sparkly slogan does not a unicorn make, especially when the said unicorn/mermaid considers walking down the confectionary aisle as cardio. Trying to fish the little bits of broken shell out of your pan of scrambled egg? Also cardio, and it also happens to be one of my least favourite hobbies.
Try as I will to make my wardrobe come together in some kind of grown up church choir harmony (can you tell I’m watching BGT), I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not that way inclined. I’m fickle in fashion – always have been, always will be. I can wear a blazer one day and absolutely love it but the next time I put it on, I feel like a wannabe magician who, after leaving their audition prep to the last minute, wound up having to wear their dad’s 20-year-old jacket. And of course it’s 8 sizes too big and smells like Brut.
But this is not about bewitching blazers, this is about gingham. That’s right, the same print we had on our hair scrunchies at primary school and the very print I should probably steer well clear of if I’m to avoid looking like Dolly Parton or a human picnic blanket. See, I’m thinking the Gingham Dress is to me what the Freakum Dress is to Beyonce. No matter what you wear with gingham, you will look like you’re ready to go and sunbathe on the top of a hay bale somewhere. And that’s why I love it. It’s an easy way to inject a playful print into your wardrobe and you know what print means don’t you? It means food spillages are harder to spot with the naked eye. Boom. But aside from making a very pretty bib, it also happens to looks hella fresh. You don’t have to feel obliged to stick to the black and white checked print either. I’ve just ordered some orange gingham for Bali. ORANGE GINGHAM. What even is life?! I love the asymmetric hem on this dress as I feel like it plays down the whole country girl thing and gives it a bit of a modern twist. I decided to style it with my pleather jacket and Converse to further play down the Little Bo Peep comparisons and dial up the wannabe Olsen Twins ting. And the sunglasses? Well, they were less of a fashion accessory, more of a fashion necessity since my eyes look like a snowman’s raisins when I don’t have mascara on so yeah, you could say I am blessed. This probably won’t be the last time I thrust my gingham gallantry on you because, let’s face it, we’ve only had about 3 days of sunshine so far and there’s plenty more checked clavicles where that one came from. But just so you know, friends that look like human picnic blankets together, stay together. Or so a little woman with a bonnet and a bunch of sheep behind her told me. Love you bye.
Photography by Olivia Foley
Dress: Pretty Little Thing
Sunglasses: Ray Ban